The following are real strange headlines from various newspapers.

I would like MORE. So if you have any just drop me a line to the address below.
On Thursday, September 07, 2000 this list exceeded 1000 headlines.

Unlike other headline lists on the web, this list is updated on a monthly basis and where possible I have listed the paper where the headline origniated.

Last modified: Thursday, 16-Sep-2004 14:10:47 BST

Please click on the letter below to view headlines beginning with it.
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$200 Fine Risk For Mobile Car Use -- Sunday Mail
£20 To Fight Crime In England And Wales -- Local Government First (LGA Newsletter}
£3 To Drive Into City -- Evening Standard
02 Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter
1.6 Million Cherokees Are Recalled -- L.A Times
10 Revolting Officers Executed
12 On Their Way To Cruise Among Dead In Plane Crash
17 Aliens Held
18 Hurt In Cheese Roll
18,000 Women Recalled For New Tests - The Times
20-Year Friendship Ends At Altar
29 Hurt As Students Demand Right To Cheat
29 Nations Approve Bribery Ban
4-H Girls Win Prizes for Fat Calves
40 Men Escape Watery Graves When Vessel Flounders In Ale
500-Year-Old Child Found -- The Australian.
500 Elves Loose
7 Reasons Why Teacher's Find Us Top Class -- T4Teachers advertisment
A Million ET's Get New Identity Deal
Ability To Swim May Save Children From Drowning
Abstention From Sex Does Not Make One Stupid - Nurse
Accident Made Salesman "Too Nice" For Job - Daily Telegraph
Accordionists Seek Some Respect -- AP headline

This appeared on the same day as:

ACT Women's Conference Pursues Broad Agenda -- Our Voice - PSU Group Report
Acupuncture May Up Chance of Test-Tube Pregnancy -- Reuters headline
Admits Shooting Husband From Stand,During Trial
Afrikaaners Find God In London - Sundy Independent (South Africa)
After 100 Years, Coward Celebration -- AP headline
Air Head Fired -- Chicago Sun-Times
Airborne Deer Kills Man - New York Times
Airline Travel Safer Despite More Accidents - Report -- Reuters headline
Airport Plea For Visitors To Stay Away - Scotsman
Aladdin's Cave Is Found In Pub
Aladdin's Cave Wins Village Shop Award
Alaska Warned: Don't Become Florida
Alcohol Ads Promote Drinking -- The Hartford Courant, November 18
Alien Gangs Prey On UK -- Daily Mirror
Alien Hedgehogs Spread Terror In The Hebrides-- The Times
Alien In Sydney Pines For Port -- Adelaide Advertiser.
Alien Unit Probe May Lead To Further Action -- Johannesburg Star
Aliens Are In Control Of Blair, Say Serb Psychics -- Independent On Sunday.
Aliens Blamed For Woes Of Society
Aliens Crammed Into Toilet
Aliens Eat Swamp
Aliens Found At Pentagon -- Sutton On Sunday (Sutton Coldfield).
Aliens On "Student" Visas Slip Under Net - Brisbane (Australia) Courier-Mail
Aliens On Jakarta Blacklist
Aliens To Fill Future Jobs Need Say Experts -- Irish Independent
All-Stars Turn On Sparse Crowd
American Ships Head To Lybia
Americans Driven To Suicide By Fear Of Death -- Daily Telegraph
Amnesia Costs Accountant 11 Years
Analysis: Jobs End Welfare
Ancient Blonde Corpses Raise Questions
Ancient Chinese Tradition Develops -- AP headline
Ancient King To Watch Over Bike Network -- Southampton Daily Echo
Angel's Future Now 'Secure' -- The Licencee.
Angels On Cloud Nine After Award -- The Licencee.
Animal 'Fart Tax' Puts Wind up New Zealand Farmers -- AFP headline
Animals Take Over Village That Changed Hands Twice - Irish Times
Animals Turn To Teaching
Antibacterial Ingredient in Shampoo May Prevent HIV -- Reuters headline
Antique Stripper To Display Wares At Store
Ants Show BT How To Control Computers
Aquarium Lands Bomber -- Bristol Evening Post
Arafat Swears In Cabinet
Archangels To Guard Vatican In Cyberspace
Armageddon Ahead, Please Fasten Your Bible Belt -- Times (London)
Armageddon Could Threaten United's Promotion Push
Army Felled By Sheep -- Express
Army Social Worker Punched His Boss At Conference On Anger -- Irish Times
Around The World Rhinos Crash Back To Earth -- Guardian.
Arson Blamed on Fires at Maryland Arts Center -- Washington Post
Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire
Artificial Intelligence Like Real Thing
Asbestos Man In Compensation Bid -- Hounslow Guardian
Asbestos Suit Pressed
Astrologers Fail to Predict Proof They Are Wrong -- London Telegraph headline
Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
Attack By ET Proves Costly
Attack By Goat Ends In Car Ban
Attack On Rat Mistaken For Chinese -- Daily Post
Auditor Confronts Martian - Irish Times
Autos Killing 110 A Day Let's Resolve To Do Better
Average Movie Cost Reaches $53.4M
Axe For Media School's Head -- Johannesburg, Star.
"Bibles Sold To The Dead" Claim -- Bradford Telegraph & Argus.
"Boom Box" Explodes, One Dead -- Reuters headline
Babies Used To Sneak Drugs Into Prison
Baboon Becomes A Landlady -- The Parrot (Ghana)
Baboon Tossers Are Welcome -- Grantham Journal
Baby Boomers Not Planning to Retire
Bachelors Prefer Beauty To Brains In Their Wives
Bacteria Go Bald And Lose Their Grip
Bacteria May Make Bullet Proof Vests
Bad Driving Causes Most Car Crashes -- London Evening Standard
Bad Food Makes A Poor Picnic.
Baker Stabbed Woman 99 Times In Self-Defence - Irish Times
Ban On Soliciting Dead In Trotwood
Banana Forced Officer To Have Sex
Banana On Sodomy Charges - Guardian
Bananas And Oranges Linked To Violent Crime -- Sunday Telegraph
Bananas Get Animated
Bangkok Launches Anti-Butt Campaign -- Arab News (Jeddah)
Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board
Bankrupt Association Termed In Poor Shape --Lawrence (Ka) Journal-World 7/12/77
Baptists Halt Talks With Catholics -- AP headline
Baywatch Star Objects To Fake Sex
BBC Raises Dead To Give Comedy New Life -- Times.
Bearded Lady Sues Dwarf -- UPI headline
Beatrix Potter Bolied Squirrels -- Sunday Times
Beavers Fly Flag In Uganda
Belgian Man Saves Fish with Kiss of Life -- Reuters headline
Bible Belt Leads U.S. in Divorces -- AP headline
Bible Church's Focus Is The Bible -- Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994
Bible Proofreaders Sweat the Small Stuff -- AP headline
Big Black Hole Found In The Sky
Bike Cop Finds Man With Crack -- Mt. Airy News in Mt. Airy, NC
Bird Bath Takes Flight -- Bridlington (Humberside) Free Press.
Bird Crime Up -- Dally Telegraph.
Bishop Attacks Childless Couples -- Huddersfield Daily Examiner.
Biting Nails Can Be Sign Of Tenseness In A Person -- The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2
Black-Belt Prosecutor Leg-Locks Defendant -- Reuters Headline
Blind Bishop Appointed To See
Blind Man Bites Guide Dog In Drunken Rage - Daily Telegraph
Blind Rioters Apprehended In Zambia
Blind Users Stymied By New Internet Graphics
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
Blue Skies Unless Its Cloudy --San Francisco Chronicle 5/29/??
Body Found On Boat Seized By Bailiffs And Due To Be Auctioned -- Isle Of Wight County Press
Body Of Unarmed Man Slain By Police Leaving For Africa -- Associated Press.
Body Wants New Blood - Chingford Guardian
Bold Plan To Put Capetown On Map - Sunday Times Business News (Johannesburg)
Bomb Hit By Library
Bookbinder Wants His Ashes Kept in Special Book on Library Shelf -- PA headline
Boots Fined For Selling Underage Girl Dracula
Boy Cooks Must Eat Own Vitals
Boy Trapped Inside His Own Body Gets £3.3m -- Wolverhampton Express & Star.
Boy Who Drowned Couldn't Swim -- The Province Vancouver, BC, Canada, 18th Or 19th September 2000
Brain Bank Seeks More Deposits -- Reuters headline
Bridge Sets 60 Mph Limit For Pedestrians -- Dundee Courier
Bring Back The Bongs, Say Mps -- Metro.
Britain's Radioactive Lobsters Upset Norway - Independent
Britain Inches Grudgingly Towards Metric System -- Reuters headline
Britain To Free Children From Soccer Slavery - The Times
British Ducks Have Regional Accents, Researchers Say -- AFP headline
British Gay Activists Scale Palace
British Helicopters Could Shoot Themselves Down -- AFP headline
British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands -- Daily Telegraph
British MPs to Drink Ethically Produced Coffee
British Push Bottles Up Germans
British Soldiers Sue over Stress in Battle -- Reuters headline
British Union Finds Dwarfs In Short Supply
Briton Gored By Bull In Intensive Care - Daily Telegraph
Brothel Found at Car Repair Shop -- AP headline
Buddhist Monk Hacks Off Errant Abbots Head With Kitchen Knife
Bug Spawns 100 Year Old Babies -- Metro (London)
Bulge In Trousers Was Ecstasy
Bull's Sperm Comes Under The Hammer
Bull Swallows Autopsy Report
Bus Driver Charged with Beating Rider Who Wouldn't Pay -- Houston Chronicle headline
Butter Said as Deadly as Cigarettes -- AP headline
Butts Slams Beer Ads Featuring Animal Sex -- UPI headline
C.I.A. Drafts Covert Plan to Topple Saddam
Cabbage Diced In Social Unrest - The Austrailian
Cabbage Privatised - Guardian
Cabbage Startles Solicitors -- Meridian News
California Governor Makes Stand on Dirty Toilets -- Reuters headline
California Hopes For An Alien Invasion To Solve Jobs Crisis - Times Interface Supplement
California Seeks 13,000 Sex Offenders
California Wildlife Destroys Over 40 Homes
Canada Could Face Sperm Shortage -- Canadian Press headline
Canadian Prime Minister Doesn't Think Bush Is 'a Moron' -- Reuters headline
Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Mann
Car Lost In Untended Garden - Daily Telegraph
Cardigan Keeps Hampshire Cosy - Guardian
Caribbean Bananas Are Ethical Bananas --UK Minister
Caribbean Islands Drift To Left
Carter Plans Swell Deficit
Carter Ticks Off Black Help
Cash Boost By Elderly Satan -- Dudley Express & Star.
Cash Boost For Truancy -- Hounslow Guardian
Cash Compost Means That Trees Can Grow On Money -- The Times
Cash Plea To Help Dyslexic Cildren -- South Wales Evening Post
Cat Tossing Latest Fad On Israeli Highways
Cats To Replace Husbands -- Times
Cattleman Grilled by Oprah's Lawyers
Cause Of Aids Found - Scientists
Cave Plan Arouses Stalactite Concern -- Irish Times.
Celibacy Could Make Priests Extinct -- Dally Record.
Cement Supplies Seen As Adequate
Cemetery Faces Grave Problems Over Space -- Basingstoke Observer
Central Bank Aims To Replace The Mattress -- Guardian
Chaos As Church Split Widens -- Nairobi Nation.
Chaos As Dead Rat Makes A Break For It - Manchester Evening News
Chaos Warning As The Sun Explodes -- Metro (London)
Charges Filed in Fla. Electrocution -- AP headline
Checkout Counter Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years
Chef Finds New Game as Rat Exterminator -- Reuters headline
Chef Gets Life for Cooking Wife -- Reuters headline
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed Needy
Cher Immortalized in Plastic -- AP headline
Chicken Banned From Crossing The Road
Chicken With Artificial Legs Dies A Hero -- Associated Press
Child's Death Ruins Couple's Holiday
Child Abuse Service Gains Corporate Sponsorship -- The Adelaide Advertiser.
Childminders Get Right To Smack -- Daily Telegraph
Children's Stool Great For Use In Garden
Children Can Glow Safely -- Luton News
China Drag Queens Have Officials On Their Knees
Chinchilla Dirige El Museo Arqueologico Nacional -- (Chinchilla Is Manager Of The National Archaeological Museum) El Pais (Spain).
Chinese Apeman Dated
Chocolate Biscuit Bites Man In Midnight Snack Attack -- Shetland Times
Chocolates, Kissing Could Help Fight Cavities -- AFP headline
Chopper Search For Man In Underpants -- Luton News
Chou Remains Cremated
Christ's Plans Under Fire From Wandsworth -- Richmond & Twickenham Times.
Christ Resigns As Police Chief
Christian Cars Stoned in Nazareth -- AP headline
Christmas Trees Don't Grow On Trees
Church Goes Missing
Church Homes Shut For Employing Christians
Church In Northwick Talks -- Berrows Worcester Journal.
Church Members Given Right To Die -- Guardian
Church Plan Upsets Brothel -- Adelaide Advertiser
Circumcision Now Seen As Pointless -- Straits Times (Singapore)
City May Impose Mandatory Time, For Prostitution
City Pact Fight Boils
City Workers Rarely Fired for Doing a Bad Job -- Houston Chronicle headline
Cliches, to Be Honest with You, Drive Us Mad -- Reuters headline
Clinton Claims Credit for Y2K Quash -- AP headline
Clinton Demands Children's Drug Dosages
Clinton Places Dickey In Gore's Hands - Bangor Maine News
Clinton Pledges Restraint In Use Of Nuclear Weapons -- Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6
Clinton Stiff On Withdrawal - The Bosnia Bugle
Cloning Warning As Japanese Grow Frog Eyes In Laboratory -- Daily Mail
Cocaine Use Hits New High -- Brentwood Yellow Advertiser
Cold Is No Good For Blubs -- Richmond Borough Guardian
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
Collapsed Bridge in China Faulty -- AP headline
Collegians Are Turning To Vegatables
Columnist Gets Urologist In Trouble With His Peers
Community Bands Together to Help Burn Victim's Family -- Bay City (Mich.) Times headline
Commuter Tax On New Yorkers Killed In New Jersey
Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly
Complaints About NHL Referees Growing Ugly
Compromise on Ten Commandments -- AP headline
Condom Firm Streches Product Line
Condon's Pledge To Murder Witnesses - Daily Mail
Confidence Sinks in September -- UPI headline
Congressmen Try To Revive Suit -- International Herald Tribune.
Connie Tied, Nude Policeman Testifies
Constipation Is Not the Root of All Evil After All -- Reuters headline
Cookies With Condoms Fail Family Taste-Test
Cops Demanding Bribes From Aliens -- Johannesburg Star.
Cops Halt Doughnut Shop Robbery
Cops Quiz Victim In Fatal Shooting
Cops: Man Steals Car to Get to [Car] Theft Hearing -- Jersey City Journal headline
Coroner In Call To Put A Stop To Drink-All-You-Can-Nights After Death -- Sheffield Star
Cost of Being Poor Rising -- Denver Post headline
Council Informs Woman Who Died Two Years Ago She Is Dead -- Irish Times
Council Not Liable Over Fatally Locked Widows -- The Times
Council Staff Could Be Axed -- Hounslow Guardian
County Bars Further Erections
County Officials Seek Public Input On Adult Stores - Hunstville (Texas) Item
County Officials To Talk Rubbish
Couple Names Baby After Web Site -- AP headline
Couple Slain: Police Suspect Homicide
Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear -- Journal of Commerce, April 20
Court Would Not Accept God Paid For TV Licence -- Somerset Standard
Cow Attacks School Cook -- Halifax Evening Courier
Cow Disarms Soldier, Another Kills Witch
Cow in Police Custody Linked to Headless Chicken Case -- Lansing (Mich.) State Journal headline
Cow Thefts Blamed on Low-Carb Craze -- Tallahassee Democrat headline
Cowboy Warning In Tornado-Hit Town -- Ceefax (BBC Teletext Service)
Crashed Jet May Have Flown Too Low -- AP headline
Crazed Elephant Found In Sea
Creepy, Crawly Creatures Invade DC -- AP headline
Crematorium Plans Put On Back Burner -- Selkirk Advertiser
Cretin Streaking Toward National Record -- Minneapolis (Mn) Star Tribune.
Crime Rise Blamed On Lack Of Police -- ITV Teletext Service
Crook Joins Barclaycard UK -- Financial Times
Croupiers On Strike - Management: "No Big Deal"
Cuba Tries Short Cut To Tailor Economy-- The Times
Curious George Goes High-tech -- AP headline
Cuts Could Hurt Animals -- The West Briton
'Dead' woman wins pension apology - BBC News website
Damp Patches Discovered On Sun
Danish Pastor Who Refused to Believe in God Suspended -- AFP headline
Dead-Beats Contribute to Poverty -- AP headline
Dead Dictator Wanted as President -- Reuters headline
Dead Dogs Explode -- Bakersfield Californian
Dead Golfer Plays His Best Round -- Sun
Dead Man Accuses President -- Guardian.
Dead Man Catches 23lb Carp -- News 0f The World
Dead Man Found In Cemetery
Dead Man Gets Job Back
Dead Man Remains Dead
Dead Man Wins His Unfair Sacking Battle -- Daily Mail

This headline followed:

Dead Youth Had Serious Medical Condition - The Dominion (New Zealand)
Deadly Centipede Chases Postman - Daily Telegraph
Deaf College Opens Doors To Hearing
Deaf Magician Disqualified For Hearing -- D. Telegraph.
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk Friday At Noon
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation
Death Ruled Unavoidable - Seattle Times
Deer Congress To Be Held In Cork
Deer Kill 130,000
Deer Kill 17,000
Defendant's Speech Ends In Long Sentence.
Delivering "Extra Strong" Support For The Three Legged -- The Stage
Detective Loses Pyjamas In Chase -- Metro
Devil's Head Found In Back Seat - The Advertiser (South Austrailia)
Devil Could Play Host To The Second Coming Of The Tiger -- Brisbane Courier Mail.
Devil May Postpone Release Of Calicivirus
Diaper Market Bottoms Out
Did Parrots Coexist With Dinosaurs? -- AP headline
Diet Of Premature Babies "Affects IQ" -- Guardian
Dinosaurs Struggle For Survival - Lewiston (ME) Sun Journal
Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows -- The New York Times, March 10
Discoveries: Older Blacks Have Edge In Longevity -- The Chicago Tribune, March 5
Disillusioned Angel Warns Of Too Much Pressure - Western Mail
Disney Stories Are Unfair On Mad People Says Doctor -- Evening Standard
Divine Intervention by Taxi Firm -- Border TV Regional Ceefax 313. Full story click Here
Divorce Is Like A Lonely Gerbil -- Times
Divorce Leaves Man Blind - Sunday Times (South Africa)
Doctor Raps "Negligence" -- Daily Mirror
Doctor Testifies In Horse Suit
Does Sex Makes Women Sprinters Faster?? -- Reuters headline
Dog's Eye Saved By Pig Intestine -- Times.
Dog Accused Of Racism -- D. Telegraph
Dog Dirt In Park - Group Leaders Step In -- Congleton Guardian
Dog In Bed, Asks Divorce
Doggie Perfume Sets Tails Wagging -- Reuters headline
Dogs Are Being Taught To Do Housework For The Disabled
Dolphins, Whales, Seals Do Research -- AP headline
Double-Hand Transplant Patient Applauds Operation -- Reuters headline
Doughnut Trail Leads Cops to Thief -- Reuters headline
Down Under Love for Princess Anne's Daughter -- Reuters headline
Downside to Fewer Violent Deaths: Transplant Organ Shortage Grows -- New York Times headline
Dr. Ruth To Talk About Sex With Newspaper Editors
Dragons Help Fund Cure For Diabetes -- North Bay (Ontario) Nugget.
Dragons Slay Galaxy -- Lewiston (Maine) Sun-Journal.
Drive To Ban Horse Whipping Mushrooms
Driver Shocked As Sheep Emerges From Pothole -- Western Mail
Drug Abuse "Can Be Beaten By Joint Effort"
Drug Dealers Dealt Heavy Blow Say Police
Drug Squad Nabs Flying Carpets -- Independent.
Drugs Fine For Businessman
Drugs Giant Gets Shot In Arm -- Western Dally Press.
Drunk Ex-US Marine Hits Corpse -- Irish Times
Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 In '84
Duck Meat Pie Kills Three Colombian Nuns -- Infobeat
Ducks Banned From Duck Pond
DUI Coordinator Resigns After Being Charged With DUI -- AP headline
Dumped Fish Remains Upset -- Wellington (NZ) Evening Post
Dutch to Extend Free Heroin Hand-Outs to Addicts -- Reuters headline
Dutch Undertakers Hire Clown to Lighten the Mood -- PA headline
Dyke Calls Up Daleks To Take On Hollywood -- Sunday Times
E.T.'s Wife Dragged To Court -- Weekly Newswatch (Ghana)
Eagle Found In Man's Sink
Earth Summit "Offers no help for East Kent" -- East Kent Mercury
Economist Uses Theory To Explain Economy -- Collinsville Herald-Journal, February 8
Ecstasy Found In Mans Pants -- Eastern Evening News
El Nino Blamed for Rise in Diarrhea in Peru
Elf Bribed To Get Plant -- Nairobi Nation
Elf Condoms Stolen -- Wolverhampton Express & Star
Elf To Sell Major North Sea Assets -- BBC Ceefax.
Eloping Lover, 92, In Court - The Times
Elves Laid Off as Santa Feels Pinch -- AP headline
Emotional Trauma May Actually Reduce Brain Size
End Of Cold War Does Little To Reduce Trench Coat Sales
Energy Executives Urge Some Gas-Emission Limits on Bush -- New York Times headline
Enfant Terrible Sees a Message in Underpants
Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
English Solicitors Hope To Inspire Ugandan Ethics -- Law Society Gazette
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
Enraged Cow Injures House
ET Guilty Of Attempted Murder -- The Star And SA Times International
EU Minister Hunts Rubber Duck to Near Extinction. -- The Times
EU Must Unite On Drugs
EU Official Hunts Rubber Duck To Near Extinction -- Times
EU Plans £70m Tower Of Babel -- Sunday Times
Eunuchs Strut Their Stuff on Indian Catwalk -- AFP headline
Euro MP Due To Visit Pluto - Bristol Evening Post
Everyday People Say They Prefer Ethics in Government -- East Brunswick (N.J.) Home News Tribune headline
Evil Spirits Banned From Coffee Bar -- Daily Telegraph
Evil Spirits Clash With Holy Ghost
Ex-Dictator Broke, Living With Mom -- AP headline
Ex-Head Tells Of Elf's Work As Paris Agent --Int. Herald Tribune
Expert Has Brains Of BSE Chicken
Expert: Ignorance May Worsen Situation -- UPI headline
Experts Bury British Coal - Guardian
Explosion Of Professors At Universities - Sunday Times
Exposing the Truth: Defendant Moons Jury -- AP headline
Eye Drops Off Shelf
"Flying Rats" Have Bank In Flap -- Irish News.
Face Transplants No Longer Science Fiction -- Reuters headline
Fairies From Outer Space Go Missing On Train To Sunderland -- Sunderland Echo
Fairy Returned Safe And Well -- Middlesborough Evening Gazette.
Fairy Tourists Spark Warning To Children -- Bradford Telegraph & Argus
Fake Condoms Kill Adam And Eve In China
Families Jettison Meals At Table -- Times
Family's Ceiling Leaked Dead Birds
Family Frantic As Mother Is Stolen
Family Issues Ultimatum Over Crater -- Yorkshire Regional Ceefax
Family Of 17 Defects From North Korea
Farm Worker Axed Friends to Death, Court Told -- PA headline
Farmer Bill Dies In House
Farmer Bitten Splitting Dogs
Fatal Mudslide Blamed On Hill
Faulty Parts Bring The World To A Halt
Fayed's Chopper Drives Us Crazy -- Ealing & Acton Gazette
Fears Over Singing Lollipop -- Johannesburg Times
Feds Step Up Laundering Crackdown -- AP headline
Fence Not Keeping Deer From Waltzing -- Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.
Ferries Must Stay Afloat In Worst Of Storms, Say Safety Engineers
Few Britons Feel Death Had Lasting Effect On Them -- Johannesburg Star
Fiji Village to Apologize for Eating English Missionary -- AFP headline
Final Funerals In Arkansas -- Daily Telegraph
Fine Young Man Convicted Of Misdemeanor
Fish Around On New Web Sites -- Watford Observer.
Fish Lurk In Streams -- Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29
Flaming Toilet Seat Causes Evacuation At High School
Fleeing Aliens Denied Entry Into Tanzania
Floods Only Bring More Tears
Florida May Need Disabled Voter Machines -- AP headline
Flowers To Ease Famine -- Scunthorpe Evening Telegraph
Fly Genes Mixed into Chicken Soup -- UPI headline
Flying Bishop Pursued -- Guardian
Flying Goats Spark Alarm
Flying Rabbis Try To Ward Off Iraqi Attack -- Daily Telegraph
Food Is Basic To Student Diet --Bridgeport (Cn) Post 1/18/78
Foot Heads Arms Body -- Daily Mirror
For Valentine's Day, Try to Plan Your Spontaneity -- Indianapolis Star headline
Former Manager "Growled Like A Dog" When He Bit Man's Ear -- Irish Times
Former Python To Open Giraffe House -- The News (Portsmouth)
Fossil Scientists Track Down Oldest Footprints In The World
Fox Offers Mexicans An End To Monologue - Financial Times
Free Advice: Bundle Up When Out In The Cold -- Lexington Herald-Leader, January 26
Free Speech For Aliens
French Minister 'Condoned Police Shooting Of Aliens' - Guardian
French Police Suspect Nudist Site Has Something to Hide -- AFP headline
Frequent Handshaking May Be Hazardous to Candidates -- AFP headline
Friends Trade Tattered Card for 49 Years -- AP headline
Frogs Satirize Racial Politics - Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
Frozen Semen Talks -- from an Australian paper; an article on a visit by the Victorian Artificial Breeders Co-op
Frying Squirrel Blamed for Sunday Power Outage -- Muskegon (Mich.) Chronicle headline
FT Not To Blame For Journalists' Suffering -- Independent
Fuchsia Talks -- Bristol Evening Post
Fund Set Up For Beating Victim's Kin
Fur Flies In Cat Kitty -- Evening News?
Future Bright for Super Stainless Steel -- AFP headline
"Goofy" Confesses To 140 Murders -- Irish Times.
"Gunproof" Chief Shot -- South China Morning Post
Gas Smell Diverts Flight, But It Was Just Passengers Pants
Gators To Face Seminoles With Peters Out - The Tallahassee Bugle
Gays in Roanoke Recover After Slaying -- AP headline
Geckos Reveal Creativity, Expertise -- The Nambian
General Eisenhower Flies Back To Front
General Motors: Air Bag Failure Not a Concern -- AP headline
Genetic Engineering Splits Scientists
Gentler War Promised in Colombia -- AP headline
German Airbag Theft Exploding -- Reuters headline
German Army Is Told To Let Women Fight -- Int. Herald Tribune
German Driver Beaten for Observing Speed Limit -- Reuters headline
German Magnetic Train Moves Forward
German Soldiers Fear The Arrival Of Women -- Daily Telegraph
Ghosts In $1M Fraud -- Melbourne Herald-Sun
Ghosts Take Derby -- Lynn News
Ghoul Drinks Blood On Bus
Giant Snail Shuts Down Tassie Port -- Townsville (Queensland) Austrilia
Giant Snails Get Set To Take Over -- Halifax Evening Courier.
Giant Tea Bag Kept Families Up All Night! -- Oxford Journal.
Giant Tea Bags Protest
Giant Waves down Queen Mary’s funnel -- Guardian, 1950s
Giantkillers Stretch Town To The Limit
Ginger Cat Found in Mousehole Area -- Unknown Cornish Paper
Girl, 14, Saved By Dog's Eyes -- Daily Post
Gnome Sparks Srike -- The Weekend Australian
God Commissions £10 Theme Park -- Building Design
God Gets A Parking Caution: "No Exceptions" Say Police -- York & District Advertiser
God Holds Up Traffic
God Is 'More Important' The Second Time Around -- D. Telegraph
God Sends A Sign To The Heathen In The Chevy -- Independent.
God Throws Dice Into Black Hole
Golfer Charged With Drunken Driving -- AP headline
Golfers Warned Not To Lick Balls -- BBC Teletext News
Goliath Cleared Of Assaulting Piranha At Club -- The Times
Gore Helps Kids Learn Gibberish -- AP headline
Gore Stands Behind Clinton
Gorillas Of Rwanda Lecture At Museum Of Natural History
Gothic Secret Of New York's Invisible Nuns
Government's Attack On Greys Premature -- Victoria (Bc) Times Colonial
Governor's Penis Busy - [Should Be -Pen Is -] The New Haven Connecticut Register
Governor Chiles Offers Rare Opportunity To Goose Hunters - The Tallahassee Democrat
Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One
Gravy Train Slows Down At Morgue -- San Francisco Examiner
Great Wall Getting Less Great -- Reuters headline
Great White Shark Battered To Death By Holidaymakers -- The Times
Greece Declares War on Bad Cheese -- AP headline
Greek Bars Close Early In Protest At Early Closure
Green Man Causes Jams -- Walthamstow (London) Guardian
Groin Kick Led To 7-Day Erection -- Examiner (Cork - Ireland)
Grover Man Draws Prison Term, Fine For Sex Acts
Guinea-Pig Judge Quits
Gunman Shot By 999 Cops -- Daily Mirror
Gynecologist, Friar In Wine Deal
Haddock Bids For NFU Leadership -- Western Morning News
Haddock Leads The Race For Top Farmers' Job -- Western Daily Press
Hairdo Kills Mum - Daily Mirror
Hairdresser "On Another Planet" -- Southampton Daily Echo
Half-Blind Swede Loses Battle for Half-Price TV -- Reuters headline
Half Of Scottish Farms In The Red -- The Scotsman 25/01/2000. Also in the same paper
Half Of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study For Graduation
Half Women Living In Fear -- Daily Record
Half-Million Italian Women Seen On Pill
Hamiltons To Be Shot Into Space -- Midweek Visitor (Southport)
Happiness Cannot Be Bought but it Lengthens Life
Harrowing, Hungry Voyage For 22 Aliens -- New York Daily News
Head In Pot Lands Man In Can -- Rockland (NY) Journal News
Head of Anti-Violence Group Arrested for Hitting Referee -- AP headline
Heads Fly To Funeral
Heads In Short Supply
Heads Thrown Out Of Meeting -- Woolwich & Plumstead News Shopper
Headless Chickens Roam The Commons -- Daily Express
Health Officials Were Given Hip Warning In 1995 -- The Times
Heart Donor Recovers -- Irish Independant
Heaven Is Giving Up Smoking, Says Pope -- Daily Mail.
Henman Sees Balls As Key To His Success -- Evening Standard
Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity, To Goose Hunters
Hershey Bars Protest
Higher Costs Explain Why U.S. is Cheaper than U.K. -- Reuters headline
Hitler Hits Tourists -- - Wolverhampton Express & Star
Hitler Travelled For Years After Death -- Melbourne Age.
Hitler, Nazi Papers Found In Attic
Hobgoblins Have A Wardrobe Problem -- Cornishman
Holy Russia Quashes Alien Worship -- Independent
Home Secretary To Act On Video Nasties
Honey, Let's Dye the Dog Red and Green for Christmas -- AFP headline
Hooked on Internet? Help Is a Just a Click Away -- Reuters headline
Hooters Off-Limits to Coast Guard
Hopes Soar For First Supersonic Pumpkin Flight - The Times
Hornets Will Accent Throwing Game In '81
Horse Goes Back In Time For New Look -- The Licensee.
Hospital Ban On Babies -- Newark Advertiser
Hospital Plans Hinge On Roads -- Oxford Times.
Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
Hostage-Taker Kills Self; Police Shoot Each Other
Hotel Burns.Two Hundred Guests Escape Half Glad
Hotline To God Great Success -- Bradford Telegraph & Argus.
House Passes Gas Tax Onto Senate
How Many Condoms Is Enough?
How Sardines Saved Stranded Potholers -- Daily Mail.
How to Drink and Still Stay Sober -- Reuters headline
How We Feel About Ourselves Is The Core Of Self-Esteem, Says Author Louise Har -- Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5
Human Version of Fly Gene Found
Humpty Dumpty Wins Award For Balance
Hundreds Hurt During Annual Stone-throwing Festival -- PA news headline
Hungry Body Ate Fasting Buddhist Alive -- The Times
Hunt For Doorstep Attacker -- Halifax Evening Courier
Hunt For Killer Toxic Lard -- Homg Kong Standard
Husband Bites Wife's 'Thing' - The Monitor (Uganda)
Husband Put Rat Poison In Wife's Tea "As A Health Cure" -- Daily Telegraph
Husband's Internet Date Turns out to Be His Wife -- PA headline
I Did Exist Says Major -- Mirror.
Iceberg Blamed For Dysentery
Idaho Group Organizes To Help, Service Widows
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly It May Last A While
Ike Says Nixon Can't Stand Pat
Illinois Mulls Capital Punishment Reform after Mistakes -- AFP headline
I'm Not Cruel Says Maggot Dog Woman -- South Avon Mercury
Impotent Must Say No To Sausages And Bacon -- Times.
Incest More Common Than Thought In America
Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
India's Nuclear Yeti
Indicted Man Might Be Part Of Plot -- AP headline
Infant Morality Shows Drop Here
Infertility Unlikely To Be Passed On
Inmate Electrocuted On Toilet
Inquest Opens on Dead Woman -- Bath Chronicle
Insect Sex Organs Rise From The Dead -- New Scientist
Insects Play Important Role In Helping To Solve Crimes -- Irish Times.
Invisible Man Comes Out Of Hiding -- Sydney Daily Telegraph.
Invisible Man Disappears From View -- Reuters headline
Invisible Man Faked Death In Paddington Rail Crash -- Sunday Times
Invisible Tenants Get Council Cash -- Wimbledon Independent.
Iowa Move Back To Pittsburgh
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Irish Mice Win Design Award -- Irish Times.
Irish Peat Bogs Rocked By Great Sheep Explosion
Irish Robots Win At Volleyball -- Irish Times.
Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
Isn't It Dangerous Trying To Drive Two Cars At Once? -- Leyton Guardian
Israeli Men Say Better Sex Would Create Social Peace
Israeli Religious Leader Bans Nose Picking on Sabbath
It's Always Best To Avoid Killer Bee Hives.
Italian Plane Passengers See Flames, Vote to Land -- Reuters headline
Jail Guard Probe In Prison Sex
Janet Jackson Has Another, Um, Single Out -- Arizona Republic headline
Japan, Russia Still Far Apart on Islands -- Reuters headline
Jesus "Not A Hedgehog" -- Church Times
Jocelyn Elders Forces Clinton's Hand -- Associated Press headline
Judge Acts To Reopen Theater
Judge Issues Preliminary Injunction In Cigarette Display Case -- Asheville (Nc) Citizen-Times.
Judge Says Texas is Part of U.S.
Judge To Rule On Nude Beach
Judgement Day Date Delayed
Judges To Learn "Human Awareness"
Jupiter Out Of Orbit Over Resignation -- Irish Times.
Jury Clears Cow in Car Accident -- AP headline
Jury Finds Pope Guilty Of Homicide -- This Week In The News
Jury Gets Drunk Driving Case Here
Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Kids' Pajamas To Be Removed By Woolworth
Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years
King's Missing Dung Sparks Crisis -- Weekly Telegraph.
Kissinger Allegedly Forges Mideast Pact
Kremlin May Decide Outcome Of Cavan-Monaghan Election -- Irish Times
Kruger Park Lions Dying Like Flies -- Sunday Times (Johannesburg)
"Light" Meals Are Lower In Fat, Calories -- Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30
L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide
Labour Councillors Worried About Disappearing Trains
Lack Of Brains Hinders Research -- The Columbus Dispatch, April 16
Lack Of Water Hurts Ice Fishing
Landlord Sentenced to Die for Eating Tenant -- Reuters headline
Landmines -- Diana On Last Leg Of Trip -- Bbc Ceefax
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Large Celestial Object Stuns Astronomers -- New Scientist
Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find -- The Los Angeles Times, November 2
Latin Course To Be Canceled - No Interest Among Students, Et Al.
Law Prohibits Swearing Around the Dead -- AP headline
Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
Lawyer Calls Soul As Witness
Lawyer Frees Own Killer -- News 0f The World
Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advise
Lazy, Fat Dragons To Go On Crash Diet In Zoo
Legal Actions Aim To Prevent 'Anorexic And Alien Body' Being Built -- Irish Times.
Legislature Follows the Law, Does Little
Legless Priest Steals Armless Man's Wife -- News 0f The World.
Lennon Guitar sells for £20,000. No Strings Attached. -- Liverpool Daily Post and Echo
Lesbian Cow Study Udderly Serious -- Brisbane (Australia) Courier-Mail headline
Lesbian Ex-Nun Witch Hits Bad Spell In N.Y. -- New York Post
Lesotho Women Make Great Carpets -- Unknown Source, Quoted By John Preston, Sunday Telegraph.
Less Formal Orthodox Church Sought -- AP headline
Let The People Decide On Drugs -- Observer
Life Means Caring For Hospital Director
Lightning Strikes Worshippers
Limp Bizkit Singer: Money's Not All
Lingerie Shipment Hijacked -Thief Gives Police The Slip
Lions Elect New District Governor
Lions Put On Dog Show -- West Briton (Cornwall)
Lions Say That Was Then, This Is Now -- Johannesburg Citizen
Lions Still Preying On Aliens -- The Star And Sunday South African Times
Lisa Hall Wins Worst Hole Contest -- Ely (Nevada) Daily Times
Listen Up, Your Dog Wants to Tell You Something -- Reuters headline
Living Saint Laid To Rest --Examiner
Lizard Re-routes Queen's Plane -- D. Telegraph.
Llama Drama Ding-Dong. -- Liverpool Daily Post and Echo
Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
Local Man Has Longest Horns In Texas
London 4800 Nurses Short -- Evening Standard
London Bus Goes Down Well In Moscow -- Dundee Courier.
Londons Homeless To Live In Admiralty Arch - The Times
Long Island Stiffens For Lili's Blow - Newsday
Lord's Mother Suing Diocese
Lost Scissors Found In Woman -- Guardian.
Lost Trees Found In Scottish Highlands
Low-Cost Rabies Shots To Be Offered In Transylvania -- Ashville Citizen-Times
Low Wages Said Key To Poverty -- Newsday, July 11
Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
Lutherans OK Pact With Episcopalians -- AP headline
"Master Idiot" Did Not Know Picasso Was In Suitcase -- Guardian
"Missing" WPC Found Weeping In Panda
Mad Cow Talks -- Huddersfield Daily Examiner
Maddened Cow Leads Farmers' Protest -- The Times
Mafia Boss Escapes in Wheelchair
Maggots Tackle Raiders
Magician's Car Vanishes
Magician Nearly Killed By Doves -- West Briton
Malaysian Transvestites Whack Religious Police with Handbags -- AFP headline
Male Infertility Can Be Passed on to Children -- Reuters headline
Male Naturist Members Rise -- Big Issue North
Malls Try To Attract Shoppers -- The Baltimore Sun, October 22
Man's Bitten Finger Was 'Trespassing' -- Bradford Telegraph & Argus.
Man Accused Of Excessively Passing Wind
Man Admits Stuffing Shrimp into Pants -- AP headline
Man Allegedly Beaten By Woman With A Frozen Fish
Man Appears Over Swimming Pool Body -- Bbc North Ceefax.
Man Attacked By Canal
Man Bit Head Off Girlfriend's Pet Gerbil -- Birmingham Post
Man Blames Reckless Driving on Martians -- Reuters headline
Man Charged with Meth Manufacture after Pants Explode -- AP headline
Man Died Of Natural Causes -- Wirral News Group
Man Dies After 25 Years in a Bus Shelter -- Reuters headline
Man Dies After Life Support Removed
Man Eating Piranha Mistakenly Sold As Pet Fish
Man Executed in Texas, Oklahoma -- AP headline
Man Fights Ravenous Moth With Sex -- Victoria (BC) Times-Colonist
Man Fined For Quacking
Man Frees Self From Mailbox
Man Goes Berserk in Car Saleroom, Many Volvos Hurt -- Reuters headline
Man Held In Miami After Shooting Bee
Man Held Over Giant L.A. Brush Fire
Man Hurt By Fairy Cake
Man Hurt When Compacted in Garbage Truck -- Reuters. Full the story click Here
Man In Rat Row Had Drunk 17 Pints Of Cider -- Halifax Evening Courier
Man Is Fatally Slain
Man Jailed After Restaurant Row - Indian Staff Terrified As He Demands Italian Food -- Aberdeen Evening Express.
Man Jailed For Exaggerating Pain -- Brisbane (Australia) Courier-Mail
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Man Of God Kicks Dog In Head -- Peterborough Eve. Telegraph.
Man on Singles Holiday Finds Himself Alone -- PA headline
Man on Way to Brothel Finds Wife Working -- Reuters headline
Man Ordered To Marry Cow
Man Plunges Over Cliff While Posing For Photo -- PA headline
Man Run Over By Freight Train Dies -- The Los Angeles Times, March 2
Man Says Israeli Police Shot Him -- AP headline
Man Shaved For Using Prophetess' toilet -- East African Standard
Man Shoots Neighbor With Machete -- The Miami Herald, July 3
Man Shot By Shed -- Sun
Man Shot In Los Boliches -- The Town Crier (Malaga)
Man Sought At Sea Was In Bed
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
Man Takes Garbage Truck at Gunpoint -- Madison (Indiana) Courier headline
Man Tells Police His Crack Dealer Ran over Him -- Greenville (S.C.) News headline
Man Tossing Knife in the Air Stabs Self in Head -- AP headline
Man Vanishes While Driving - Providence Journal-Bulletin
Man Wins His Job Back After He Dies -- Daily Mirror
Man Wins Trip For "Fathering" Rhino
Man With One Arm And Leg Cheats On Other Half -- News Of The World
Mandelson's Dog Is Reported Ready To Fly -- Irish Times
Mangoes Bring Down Plane - The Sunday Mail (Brisbane, Australia)
Manhunt For Former Elf Boss -- Irish Times.
Many Antiques Seen At D.A.R. Meeting
Many Women at Risk of Being Murdered Don't Know It -- Reuters headline
Marbles Tortured, Says Minister -- Irish Times.
March Planned For Next August
Marriage Marred By Mashed Spud Mania
Married Priests In Catholic Church A Long Time Coming - The New Haven Connecticut Register
Martian Blamed For Lib Dem Election Losses -- Woking News & Mail
Mary Poppins Is A Black Man -- Economist.
Masked Man On Horse Offered Drugs To Garda -- Irish Times
Mass Poisoning In Donkey Soup War -- Wolverhampton Express & Star,
Mayor's Ball Is Back On The Menu -- Gloucestershire Echo
Mayor Bans SEX At Local Library -- Mesa Tribune, (after the book, SEX, by Madonna was released)
Mayor Is Ousted By Mice -- Western Daily Press
Meat Head Fights Hike In Minimum Pay
Memorial Pool Now a Crumbled Mess -- AP headline
Memories Are Stolen After Burglars Raid Oap's Home -- Wiltshire Star.
Men Get A Lesson On Kerb Crawling - The Times
Men In Black Fail To Attract Sponsors -- Daily Telegraph
Men Recommend More Clubs For Wives
Men Think Their Way to Fertility -- Reuters headline
Merlin Meets The Pope -- Reading Evening Post
Mermaid Entertains Popular Hunchback
Mermaid Rescue Plan Falters
Messiah Climaxes In Chorus Of Hallelujahs - The Anchorage Alaska Times
Mexican Leader Crashes To Earth
Mexican Police Arrest Horse For Damaging Car - Daily Texan
Mexico Church Calls Santa a Drunk -- AP headline
Miami Considers Staying Put -- New York Times headline
Mice Blamed For Missing Drinks -- Wolverhampton Express & Star
Mice To Be Bombed
Mickey Mouse Found In Antartic Ice -- Modern Astronomy Magazine
Middle East Villages On The Move To Australia -- Brisbane Courier Mall
Mike Tyson Accused Of Cruelty To Ferrets -- Times.
Milk Drinkers Are Turning To Powder
Milkman Finds Leg
Mimes Blamed For Abusive Language
Miners Refuse To Work After Death
Ministers Son Held On Drugs -- Daily Mirror
Mirror Plans Rival To FT -- Observer
Missing Link Blamed For Road Deaths -- Newark Advertiser
Missing Teen Tied To Bones
Mistook Inmate's Noose For Decoration, Court Told -- Dundee Courier And Advertiser
Mobile Phone Threat To Universe
Moggy Found But Now The Owners Are Lost -- Waltham Forest (London) Independant
Mole's Conviction Is Quashed -- Wiltshire Times
Mole Embraces Supermarkets
Sandy Mole Is A D&G Planning Official. - Dumfries & Galloway Standard
Mondale's Offensive Looks Hard To Beat
Monitor Lizard Fails To Explode In MP's Toilet
Monster Growing Out Of Control -- Guardian
Monsters Take To The Streets -- Sunday Mail (Queensland)
Months To Wait For Mouldy Flat Family -- The Citizen (Gloucester)
Moose Cheese To Oust Dung As Swedish Souvenir
More Exercise May Help Weight Loss -- AP headline
Moroccan Dog Was Unexploded Bomb
Morticians Fight Over Corpse -- Canberra Times
MP's Mother Joins Critic Of His Plans To "Keep Greys Away" -- Times
Mr. Coffee Expands its Line to Sell ... Coffee -- South Florida Sun-Sentinel headline
Mrs. Corson's Seat Up For Grabs
Mrs. Rydell's Bust Unveiled, At Nearby School
Murdered Fiancés Present Petition To Number 10 -- Teletext
Myth and Monsters exhibition entertains and eductaes -- Westminster Independent
Mythical Beast Brings City Grim Message
N.J. Judge To Rule On Nude Beach
Nader Calls Convention a 'Carnival' -- AP headline
Nanny Calm As Troops Close In
NASA Briefly Loses Contact With Atlantis - Lewiston (ME)
Nasa To Spend $1b On Asteroids -- Brisbane (Australia) Courier-Mail
Nation's Hungry Attack Meese.
National Slacker Day May Be Too Much Effort -- Reuters headline
Naturism Seeks Raised Profile -- Hastings and St. Leonards Observer
Naval Divers To Help Sharks Settle In -- Irish Times
Navy To Make Boats -- -- South China Morning Post
Neighbours Fear Golf Balls -- Richmond and Twickenham Times
Nelson's Hair Saved Grandson -- Times
Never Withhold Herpes From Loved One
Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
New Autos To Hit 5 Million
New compensation rules for late flights delayed by a year -- The Times
New Head Of Rail Body -- Hammersmith And Fulham Post
New Housing For Elderly Not Yet Dead
New Lease Of Life For The Wizard – Halifax Evening Courier
New Markets Found For Poor Peruvians -- The Times
New Missouri U. Chancellor Expects Little Sex
New South Wales Government Moves To Tighten Testosterone Availability
New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group
New Tabloid "Owned By God"
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
New York Bans Judgement Day -- Guardian
New Zealand Scientists Use Balloon to Measure Cattle Farts -- AFP headline
News Crew Pickpocketed While Covering Pickpocket Story -- Mainichi Shimbun (Japan) headline
Nicaragua Sets Goal To Wipe Out Literacy
Nickers Leave Hospital Crutchless
Night School To Hear Pest Talk
Nine Yard Men Turn Supergrass -- Evening Standard
North Dakota Child Found To Spread Tuberculosis -- Reuters.
North Korean Leader Names Ancient Frog "Ancient Frog"
Norwegian Motorist is Slapped with Parking Ticket While Stuck in Traffic Jam -- AP headline
Nothing Destroyed In Fire But Damage Near $100,000
Nuclear Fuel Sent To Japan "Unsafe" -- Guardian.
Nude Scene Done Tastefully In Radio Play
Nudist Welfare Worker's Model Wife Falls for Chinese Hypnotist from the Co-op Bacon Factory --
Nuns Drop Suit; Bishops Agree To Aid Them
Nurse Fends Off Crocodile -- Irish Independent
Nurses Warn Against Rash Use Of Herbal Oil Treatments -- The Guardian
Ny Ponders Beating Victim -- AP Headline
"Only Jail Will Stop Me", Says Illegal False Teeth Fitter
Oap Fined For Limping Too Slowly -- Mirror
Oasis Album Could Be Record
Objections Raised To Quake Aid For Aliens
Officer Convicted Of Accepting Bride
Officers Shoot Dead Burglar In Siege -- Times
Official: Only Rain Will Cure Drought -- The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts
Officials Consider Bridge Suicide
Officials: Elvis is Still Dead -- AP headline
Old Guy Found Wandering at Stadium -- AP headline
Old School Pillars Are Replaced By Alumni
Olympic Fans Too Busy for Prostitutes -- Reuters headline
Omagh Team Aims To Make Pigs Fly Gracefully -- Irish Times
One In Three UK Girls Regret Drunken Sex
Only Poets Can Save Us From Millennium Buggery -- Times Of India
Opossum Squashing Ignites Debate
Oprah, Madonna Talk Marriage
Organ Festival Ends In Smashing Climax - San Antonio Rose
Oscar Proves God Is A Mexican -- Guardian.
Ottawa May Tackle Homeless -- Toronto Star headline
Our Kids Die More Often: Nt Report -- Darwin Suburban
[President] Bush "Dramatically Less Visible" -- AP headline
[Roman Catholic] Priest Pleads Guilty to Making Date-Rape Drug -- Reuters
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Panther Mauled In Election For Mayor -- Hong Kong Standard.
Panthers Destroy Viking Visitors -- Peterborough Evening Telegraph.
Passengers To Wait 10 Years For Fast Trains -- The Times
Pastor Aghast After First Lady Sex Position
Pastor Fighting To Stop Shop Selling Inflatable Sheep On Sundays - Western Mail
Patient At Death's Door -Doctors Pull Him Through
Patient With Bad Knee Has Surgery On Healthy Tooth
Pavarotti Anticipating Eclipse -- AP headline
Pd Senator Speculates On A Future In Outer Space -- Irish Times
Peacock Pops Alien Invaders
Pelicans May Be Turned Into Puffins -- The News(Portsmouth).
Penguin Dung May Hold Key To Human Flu -- South China Morning Post
Peruvian Head Takes Mystery Trip – Seattle Times
Petroleum Jelly Keeps Idle Tools Rust -Free - Chicago Daily News
Phallus Museum Erected in Reykjavik
Phantom Actor Sues -- Daily Telegraph
Phantom Bus Didn't Show -- South Bucks Star
Phantom Patients Offer Healthy Income -- Guardian
Phantom Told To Pay Wife £3,000 A Month -- Metro (London).
Physicist Recommends Bigger Balls To Slow Down Male Tennis Players - Guardian
Pig Music Ordered Turned Down -- AP headline
Pigs Fly Flag For Farmers -- Brisbane (Australia) Courier-Mail
Pilot Vows To Quit Flying After Landing On His Wife
Pirates Could Be Jailed -- Halifax Evening Courier.
Pit Bulls Love You, Really
Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
Planned Parenthood Looking For Volunteers
Planning Experts At Odds On Impact Of "Missing Link"
Plastic Factory Worked Burned -- Coventry Eve. Telegraph
Platform Shoes Claim Another Life -- Reuters headline
Please Visit Cairo but Without Your Chimpanzee Friends, Officials Say
Plenty of Sex Advised for Successful Pregnancy -- Reuters headline
Pogo Stick Girl Saves Mother From Knifeman
Pole Sets World Record for Pole-Sitting -- AP headline
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
Police Discover Crack In Australia
Police Find Burglar Through Yellow Snow He Left Behind -- Reno Gazette-Journal headline
Police Hunt Spoons -- Falmouth Packet
Police Kill Youth In Effort To Stop His Suicide Attempt
Police Pay £20,000 For Dead Parrots -- Daily Record.
Police Plea On Speed -- Northampton Herald & Post.
Police Probe 'Suspicious' Body in Cemetery -- PA headline
Police Say Man Who Swallowed $37,500 Gem Has Yielded Loot -- Chicago Tribune headline
Police Search Home 300 Times, Find Nothing -- Reuters headline
Police Seek Witnesses To Assault -- Richmond Borough Guardian
Police Sing For Animals -- Brighton & Hove Albion.
Police Spray Knife Man On Train -- Sydney Dally Telegraph.
Police Suspicious after Body Found in Graveyard -- Halifax (Canada) Chronicle-Herald headline
Police Target "Invisible" Cycle Riders -- Cornish Guardian
Police Want Extra Eyes To Catch Impaired Drivers -- North Bay Nugget (Ontario)
Police Work a Lot Safer Than in 1970 -- AP headline;
Two Cops Killed Attempting Arrest -- AP headline that appeared much later the same day
Police: Body Cavity Search Reveals Crack -- La Crosse (Wisc.) Tribune headline
Police: Man Killed Wife, Self, Set Fire -- Houston Chronicle headline
Political Apathy Growing, Poll Shows -- UPI Headline
Politician Says Too Busy to Cheat on His Wife -- Reuters headline
Poll Shows Voters Prefer Bush at Barbecue -- AP headline
Poop Scooper Finds Job Fun, Refreshing -- AP headline
Pope To Fly In Hellfire Helicopter -- D. Telegraph.
Portable Toilet Bombed Police Have Nothing To Go On -Newton Daily News
Postmen Taught How To Walk -- Daily Mail
Postmistress Is Sued By Killer For Missing FT -- Daily Telegraph
Potato, Dancing Raisins Cut a Deal -- AP headline
Potential Of Dublin As A "Solar Capital" Is Discussed
Poverty Lags In Mississippi Delta
Prehistoric Man Gets Lift In A Hearse -- Western Mail
Presidential Footwear on Display -- AP headline
Priest Duels With Dracula -- Mltcham & Morden Guardian.
Priest in Fatal Crash Improves -- Lakeland (Fla.) Ledger headline
Prosecution Paints O.J. As A Wife-Killer -- Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, January 25
Prosecutor Releases Probe Into Undersheriff
Prostitute Says Government Ruining Trade -- Reuters headline
Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
Prostitutes To Hold Open Day -- Irish Times
Protecting Thanet's Cuntryside -- Adscene - Thanet
Psychic Ferrets Take Over Couple's World -- Derby Evening Telegraph
Psychotic White Rhino Boards Freedom Flight
Public Swings In Favour Of The Prince-- The Times
Pupils Train As Counsellors To Help Upset Classmates -- The Times
Pusat Islam: Aliens Among Shi'ite Leaders
Putin Pardons Pope - Brisbane Courier Mail
Pygmy Caught In Mousetrap -- Northampton Chronicle & Echo
Python Savages Parrot -- Wales On Sunday
QEH Spending $1.2m To Help Curb Bowl Cancer -- The Advertiser
Quarter Of A Million Chinese Live On Water
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Race Cyclists Caught Speeding -- Reuters headline
Rats Con Woman, 78, Out Of £3000 Savings -- Greenwhich Mercury
Rattle To Lead Berlin Philharmonic -- AP headline
Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Real Godmother Becomes Fairy Godmother -- The Dally Observer (St John's, Antigua).
Recreational Use of Viagra Dangerous -- UPI headline
Rector With Crowbar Seeks To Lay Nun's Ghost -- Daily Graphic.
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Report: Depression Causes Impotence
Report: U.S. Scientists Create 'Living Breasts'
Research: Beer Stops Cancer Damage -- UPI headline
Researcher Links Obesity, Food Portions -- AP headline
Researchers Locate Tomato Gene -- AP headline
Researchers Can See Thoughts
Revolt By Yard Men
Rhode Island Seeks Weightless Prison -- Lewiston (ME) Sun Journal
Rhode Island to Honor Mr. Potato Head -- AP headline
Ribena Offer To Blood Service
Right To Die Advocate Found Dead.
Rise Of 'Mutants' Leaves France A Divided Nation – Times
Risque Business: Misguided Skating Officials Are Cracking down on Pelvis-Pumping and Lap-Dancing - as Though People Actually Want to Watch Olympians Skate -- San Francisco Chronicle headline
RJB To Spend £50m On Lifting Australian Stake - The Times
Robber Holds Up Albert's Hosiery
Robber Orders Starbucks Employee To Ground -- clickondetroit.com
Robber Sawed His Father In Half
Robbers Attack School in Pretoria -- AP headline
Rolling Stones Give Free Concert - No One Killed -- Reuters headline
Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself -- from the Chicago Rotary Club journal Gyrator
RSPCA Fights Motorbikes For Hamsters -- Daily Telegraph
Russia's Economic Woes Outweigh The Universe -- Guardian
Russia's Statistics Boss Accused of Fraud
Russia Unsure of Where Fugitive Is -- AP headline
Russian Troops Tell Of Invisible Enemy -- Guardian.
'Santa' Steals Painkiller From Drug Store -- AP headline
[Indian] Scientists Use Radiation to Cure Flatulence -- Reuters headline
Substitute Teachers Seeking Respect -- AP headline
Scots Experts To Help Georgia's Rural Economy -- The Scotsman 25/01/2000
S. Africa Battles Invasion Of Alien Water-Snatchers -- Daily Yomiuri (Japan)
S. Florida Illegal Aliens Cut In Half By New Law
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Saints Overrun Hapless Halifax -- Guardian.
Salesman Says He Left, 4 Large Rings In Malden Bathtub
Sand Found On Beach Shocker -- Hartlepool Mail
Santa Accused of Slapping Child -- Reuters
Santa Gives Jesus The Sack -- Guardian
Santa Rosa Man Denies He Commited Suicide In South San Francisco
Saudi Takes Four Wives in One Night to Spite His Ex -- AFP headline
Sauerkraut Seeks New Image -- Reuters headline
Save My Life And I'll Sue You, Warned Suicide Note -- Daily Telegraph
Save Streams, Fish Head Warns -- Bainbridge (GA) Review
Saving The Whale From Space -- BBC News Online
Scared of Y2K? Head for a Nuclear Reactor -- Reuters headline
Scent Foul Play In Death Of Man Found Bound And Hanged
School Praised After Vandalism -- West Briton
School Says Boy in Drag Can't Be Queen -- Reuters headline
Science Confirms: Politicians Lie -- Reuters headline
Scientists Find "Cure" For Sex-Change Fish -- Evening Standard (London)
Scientists Grow Human Arms And Legs On Trees! - People & Places (Ghana)
Scientists Hoping To Grow Their Own Livers -- Daily Record
Scientists See Quakes In L.A. Future -- The Oregonian, January 28
Scientists To Have Ford's Ear
Scottish Scientists Plan Search For Laziness Gene -- Reuters headline
Senate Passes Death Penalty Measure Provides For Electrocution For All Persons Over 17
Senators Maintain Their Hold On Devils -- Newark (NJ) Star Ledger
Seven Foreigners, Seven Locals Up Each Other At Wotulu Memorial -- Inodnesioan Observer
Severed Hand Saved By Peas -- The Sun
Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
Sex Scandal Vicar Seeks New Position
Sex Up and Down after September 11 -- Reuters headline
Shanghai Adult Toy Fair Hits the Spot -- Reuters headline
Shark Dies Biting Man
Sharks Gored In Bullring -- Sunday Times (Johannesburg)
Sheep Answers Monk's Prayer -- Darlington & Stockton Times
Shell Found on Beach -- (Brighton Argus, UK)
Shirtless Woman Joyrides in Stolen Police Cruiser -- Denver Post headline
Shooting Suspect Said Hot-Tempered -- AP headline
Shops Put "In Peril By Flowers"
Shot Man Mistaken For Feral Cat: Police
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
Sick Skunks Overrun Massachusetts -- Lewiston (Me:) Sun Journal.
Silent Bar Staff And Customers With Three Legs At Inn -- West Briton (Cornwall).
Silent Teamster Boss Gets Unusual Punishment, Lawyer
Silicon Boys Have More Time to Look for Love -- AFP headline
Six Take £8m Pot -- News Of The World
Slave Sale Aids Charity -- Gloucester Echo
Slimy Leeches Are Devoted Parents -- Reuters headline
Slow Progress For Rotting Estate Victims -- Glossop (Derbyshire) Advertiser
Small Town Celebrates "Toilet Fest" -- AP headline
Smaller Families Recquire Less Food
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
Smokers Have Odd Brains
Snake Throws Master Into Cell
Snake Venom Slows Breast Tumor Growth -- UPI headline
Sneak Attack By Soviet Bloc Not Foreseen --The Atlanta Journal 4/4/79
Snow Storms May Be Precursor of Winter -- AP headline
Snowman Accused Of Indecency - Daily Telegraph
Snowman Quits Top Opera Job -- Times
Some People Have Been Gormless Since 1746 -- Daily Telegraph
Some Phone Psychics Provide Useless, Erroneous Information
Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction
Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
Soviet Virgin Lands Short Of Goal Again
Spaniard Hits Girlfriend at Anti-Violence Rally
Spaniards Study Inside of Ham
Special Events Mark Domestic Violence Month -- Seattle Post-Intellgencer.
Spiders Signed Up For Army
Split Rears In Farmers' Movememt
Spooked Elephants Riot At Suburban Mall
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Squirrel Ransacks House Looking For Peanuts -- D Telegraph.
Squirrel Sleuth Cracks Robbery -- Reuters headline
Squirrel Turns City Dark, Sets Grass Fire -- Ogden (Ut) Standard-Examiner.
Squirrels Eating Tokyo -- High Desert Advocate (West Wendover, Nevada).
St Malo: Largest Amount Of Cannabis Ever Seized In Joint Operation -- Jersey Evening Post
Stabbing Doesn't Spoil Friendship
Stadium Air Conditioning Fails - Fans Protest
Staff Dig Deep For Children -- Gloucestershire Echo.
Stampede For Compost
State Will Poison Rivers So It Can Count Dead Fish
Statistics Show That Teen Pregnancy Drops Off Significantly After Age 25 -- Mary Ann Tebdo Republican Senator From Colorado Springs
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Stealth Fighter Crashes Into A Time Warp -- Irish Times.
Steel-Eating Microbes Threaten To Devour Britain's Ports -- Independent On Sunday.
Stephen King Impersonator Steals 5,000 Lobsters
Sterilizations Solves Problems, For Pets, Owners
Stiff Opposition Expected To Casketless Funeral Plan
Stiff Opposition To Casketless Funeral Plan
Stock Market Succumbs to Reality -- AP headline
Stolen Painting Found By Tree
Stop Strimming Hedgehogs -- Nottingham Evening Post
Straw's Pledge To Rape Victims -- Express
Strawberry Charged Over Sex And Drugs -- Int. Herald Tribune,
Strawberry Speaks Of Death Wish -- Int. Herald Tribune
Stretches Of M62 Have "Vanished" -- Huddersfield Daily Examiner
Strike Over, Twinkie Shortage Ends -- AP headline
Stud Tires Out
Students Compete for Pillow Fight Record -- AP headline
Study Finds Broad Problems in Army
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link -- Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995
Study Links Menopause, Aging
Study: Alcohol May Prevent Dementia -- AP headline
Study: Ape Herpes Viruses May Be Transmissible to Humans -- Reuters headline
Study: Depressed Women Live Longer -- AP headline
Study: Drinking, Fainting Connected -- AP headline
Study: Duct Tape Doesn't Seal Ducts -- AP headline
Study: Ecstasy Causes Brain Damage -- AP headline
Study: Gay Clergy Disregarding Church Ban On Celibacy
Study: Narcissists are Dangerous
Study: Obesity Can Shorten Lifespan -- AP headline
Successful Heads May Be Shared -- Daily Telegraph
Sues Bride Of 4 Mouths
Suit Says Hospital Mistook Constipation For Cancer
Summer Treat: Ice Cream "Isn't Health Food" -- Reuters headline
Superheroes Make Kids Eat Fruit and Vegetables -- Reuters headline
Surgery For Duck Hurt By Anglers Left Hook -- Jersey Evening Post
Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut -- The New York Times, November 22
Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Suspected Alien Boat Dodges Customs -- Brisbane Courier Mail.
Suspected Bank Robber Leaves a Clue: Driver's License -- Houston Chronicle headline
Suspended MP Accused Of Telling A Hundred Lies -- The Guardian
Swallowed Diamond Ring Shows Up as Evidence -- Reuters headline
Swamp Thing Bedevils Police Station -- The Record (Hackensack New Jersey)
Swazi King, 2 Sons Poison Suspects
Swedish Dentist Seizes Teeth in Payment Dispute
Swedish Jet Hijacked By Bread Roll
Swiss Hale Heroin Giveaway A Success -- Associated Press
System Fails To Catch Hermaphrodite Cattle -- Irish Times
"The Pill" Might Prevent Acne Too -- AP headline
TABLETS Viagra blamed for 69 deaths -- Ceefax News Page
Tarmac Close To Merger With Aggregate -- Sunday Times
Tarzan's Loincloth Hid A Big Swinger -- Sunday Times (South Africa).
Tax Break For Hedgehogs -- Nottingham Evening Post.
Tax Mooted For Flatulent Cows -- Brisbane (Aust) Sunday Mail.
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Teen-Age Girls Often Have Babies Fathered By Men -- The Sunday Oregonian, September 24
Teen Girls Driving More Like Boys -- AP headline
Tenant Failed To Give Notice Before Dying
Tennessee Williams Brought To Life In A Unique Setting
Tequila Helps Actress Take Her Clothes Off -- Reuters headline
Termites Lay Siege To New Orleans -- Sunday Times (South Africa)
Testicles On Sale -- The Nambian
Texans Chip in to Rescue Stranded Chicken-Hypnotist -- Reuters headline
Textron Inc. Makes Offer To Screw Company Stockholders - The Miami Herald
Thanks To President Clinton, Staff Sgt. Fruer Now Has A Son - The Arkansas Plainsman
The Correct Version Declares God Ambidextrous
The Mad Hatter Saves Alice From Knifeman
The Queen Is A "Parrot" Says Paisley -- Daily Telegraph
The Unknown Clouds Search for School Superintendent -- Louisville, Kentucky
There Can Be No Excuse For Drinking While Under The Influence Of Alcohol -- Hull Daily Mail
There May Be Diamonds in Planets -- AP headline
They Came They Saw... Swindon --Western Daily Press
Thief Nabbed Returning for Ass -- UPI headline
Thieves Steal 8 Tons of Spa Mud -- AP headline
Thomas the Tank Engine Discovered Driving Taxi -- Reuters headline
Thousands See Green Man -- North Devon Journal.
Three in hospital after fresh Legionnaires' outbreak -- Ananova
Three Wise Men Refused Visas By Saudi Arabia
Thugs Eat Then Rob Proprietor
Tigers Shoot Down Gunship -- Irish Tmes
Time Machine Found In Brain
Titanic Shipyard May Sack Workers -- AP headline
Toad Stuck In Share Hole Despite High-Profile Signing -- Daily Telegraph
Toads Stop Play In Top Cricket Pub
Tomatoes Come In Big, Little, Medium Sizes -- The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30
Tomorrow: Political Guru Ed Rollins At 9 AM
Tony Blair Promises Parents The Right To Smack --Independent
Too Much Homework is Bad for You, UK Academics Say -- Reuters headline
Top Evangelist Caught Red-Handed With Nanny-Goat – People & Places (Ghana)
Top Surgeon Is To Head New Body In Medical Ethics -- Evening Standard
Top Terror Fugitive Hid from Police on Nudist Beach -- AP headline
Tortoises Held Hostage As Lobster War Turns Nasty -- Independent
Town To Drop School Bus, When Overpass Is Ready
Towns Must Spend Big To Fight Alien Plans -- Boston Globe
Toxic Waste Tour Planned
Traffic Dead Rise Slowly
Traffic Stop May Check Alien Status -- Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.
Tragedy Of Mother Eaten By Maggots -- Mirror.
Train Driver Temporarily Blinded by Exploding Pigeon -- PA headline
Transsexuals Benefits Cut Off -- Highbury & Islington Express.
Trapeze Artist Attacks Rival with Castration Tongs -- Reuters
Trapped Dragons Are Blamed For Problems At New Hong Kong Airport -- Weekly Telegraph
Trojan Is New EU Secretary-General -- Irish Times
Trout Being Tempted By Extra-Terrestrials - Dudley Chronicle
Tuna Biting Off Washington Coast
Turkey Blamed For Appaling Driving
Turkey Votes for Christmas -- Financial Times
Tv Reporters Feel Pressure On Cha-Cha -- Philippine Dally Inquirer.
TV Sets To Book Hols
Twinkles Shortage Looms -- New York Dally News.
Two Cars Were Reported Stolen By The Groveton Police Yesterday.
Two Convicts Evade Noose Jury Hung
Two Guns Beats Four Aces: Armed Robbers Hit Paris Poker Tournament -- AFP headline
Two One-Legged Inmates Skip Jail -- Reuters headline
Two Sisters Reunited After Eighteen Years At Checkout Counter
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
U R Out: Man Fired by SMS -- Sydney (Australia) Morning Herald headline
U.S. Army To Use 'Green' Tungsten Bullets -- Reuters headline
U.S. Audit Finds Funds For Youth Misspent
U.S. Diplomat Expelled from Cuban Dog Club, Dog Stays -- AFP headline
U.S. Distances Itself From Haiti -- AP headline
U.S. Food Service, Feeds Thousands, Grosses Millions
U.S. Govt Heads For Shutdown, Blame Flies
U.S. Workers Getting Pink Slips for Christmas
USDA To Shift Testing Of Ready-To-Eat Meat Plants -- Cnn News
Uganda Facing Condom Shortage -- AP headline
Ugandans Enjoying the Good Life -- AP headline apparently unrelated to the above which appeared the same day.
UK Charter Aims To Improve Rights For The Dead -- British Medical Journal
UN Backs Dog Jailed For Killing Bishop -- Sunday Telegraph
Unconscious Can 'Think' But Not About Popcorn
Uncut Workers Better Survivors -- The Australian.
Under Pressure at Work? Get a Life-- Reuters headline
Undergrads Flunk Sperm Bank Tests -- Straits Times Singapore)
Underwater Church Rescue
Unexpected Trees Jump The Gun On Playing Place Roundabouts -- West Briton (Cornwall).
Unicorn Safe Thanks To Cash
Unusual Millennium Parties Planned -- AP headline
Urgent Plea For "Flying Lollipop" Patrols -- Cornish Guardian
Use Of Heroin Shooting Up -- Huntingdon Town Crier
Van In Pork Pie Ambush -- Newcastle Journal
Vegetables Start Talking To Professor
Viagra to Raise Sri Lanka Troop Morale -- AFP headline
Victim's Family Didn't Need Another Death -- Rocky Mountain News
Victim Tied, Nude Policeman Testifies
Vietnam Elects Dead Man To Politburo
Vinnie Jones Enters Dog In Waterloo Cup. -- Liverpool Daily Post and Echo
Virgins Are Discovered In Essex
Voting Down but Political Humor Up -- AP headline
VW Beetle Starts up After Being Buried for 10 Years -- PA headline
"Weirdos" Will Visit Cornwall -- West Briton
W.I To Remove Jam From Toilets
Wachtler Tells Graduates That Life In Jail Is Demeaning -- The Buffalo News, February 26
Wang Ousts 'Nutcracker' for Next Year -- Boston Globe headline
Wanted: Suitable Position for Disoriented Indian Maharaja
War Dims Hope For Peace
Watchdog Gets A New Head -- Luton Times.
Water Missing In The Middle Of The Sea -- Guardian
Waves Of Chaos Wash Over Road -- Walthamstow (London) Guardian
We've Rescued A Deer (We Found It In A Tree)
We All Hope And Pray For Peach In Northen Ireland
We Think Rain Caused The Floods, Says Thames Water -- Newbury & Thatcham Chronicle
We Will Sell Gasoline To Anyone In A Glass Container.
Weber's worldwide devotionals: Mount Joy minister encourages hurting people via the World Wide Web -- (From Intelligencer Journal, Lancaster
Website For Penguins -- Western Dally Press.
Week Ends Month of China Relations -- AP headline
Weekly Sex May Prevent Colds and Flu --study -- Reuters headline
Weird and Wacky Reigned Supreme in 2003 -- Reuters headline
Welfare Exorcises 70,000 Ghosts -- Johannesburg Star.
Westinghouse Will Buy Infinity For $3.9 Billion
Whale Flatulence Stuns Scientists -- Sydney (Australia) Telegraph headline
Whatever Their Motives, Moms Who Kill Kids Still Shock Us -- Holland Sentinal, date unknown
When Doctors Smoked and Hair Was Lacquered -- New York Times headline
When Ebola and HIV Are Your Friends -- AFP headline
When Elephants Ruled... Hackney -- Times
White Flower Two Day Sale-(Friday Only)
White Sox Like Scent Of Colon -- The Grand Rapids Press
Whoopee? Oopsie! Honk If the Dealership Used Your Car for Sex -- St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times headline
Why Americans Love to Hate Government -- Reuters headline
Why My Brain Hates Your Mistakes -- Reuters headline
Why Tarts Are Big In Telford -- Irish Times.
Wife Drowns In Kitchen While Looking For Food
Wife Forgives Killer Elephant -- Melbourne Herald-Sun
Wife Regrets Staying With Man She Killed
Wife Stabs Husband After He Brings Her Bouquets -- Reuters headline
Wild Wife League Will Meet Tonight
Wildcat's Garbage Puzzles County Board --Berlin Reporter
William Kelly, 87, Was Fed Secretary
Windows 95 Were For Houses, Thief Belived -- Irish Times
Winner Dies in Russian 'Vodka Marathon,' Five Runners-up Hospitalised -- AFP headline
Wolves In Complex Bid For Brewer -- Guardian.
Woman's Body Found In Cemetery -- Lancashire Evening Post
Woman Accused Of Giving Bears Ice Cream -- Las Vegas Review-Journal
Woman Beats Off Rapist -- Daily Mail
Woman Fights Giant Radish -- Johannesburg Citizen.
Woman Fined for Not Giving 30-day Notice Before Dying -- Fitchburg (Mass.) Sentinel and Enterprise headline
Woman Flushes Toilet, Then Catches Fire -- Rocky Mountain News
Woman From Mars Says Nothing -- Leyton (London) Guardian
Woman Gives Birth to Tortoise (Metro, UK)
Woman Hit Twice By Same Car in 24 Hours -- Reuters headline
Woman Is Pregnant Thanks To Her Sister
Woman Loses Miss World Suit -- AP headline
Woman Rents House But Complains About Corpse
Woman Scolded For Killing Husband
Woman Swims 12 Miles After Sinking -- Irish Times
Woman Tries to Give Away Dad on Internet -- AP headline
Woman Uses Breasts as Bird's Nest -- Reuters headline
Woman Was Left A "Monster" -- Irish Times
Woman with Two Wombs Gives Birth to Twins -- Reuters headline
Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based
Women Bowlers Vote To Keep Their Skirts On -- Sunday Telegraph.
Work Starts On New Zebra -- Bridlington Free Press.
Workers Down Tools at Viagra Factory Over Hard Helmets -- GMB union circular regarding a health and safety dispute
World Rubber Body Unlikely to Make Major Changes
Worry On Educaion -- Express & Star
Would She Climb To The Top Of Mr. Everest Again? Absolutely! -- The Houston Chronicle
Wrecks Blamed On Carelessness -- AP Headline
X Marks the Spot as Dog Finds Buried Owner -- Reuters headline
X-ray Confirms Snake Swallowed Dog -- AP headline
Y2K Crisis Center: What To Do? -- AP headline
Yellow Snow Tested For Nutrition
Yeltsin Promises To Stay In Space -- Irish Times
Yes, I'd Like To Be Castrated, Please -- Kansas City Star
Yeti Teaching Students Valuable Lessons
You Can't Buy Love, but Euro Brings Cheaper Sex -- Reuters headline
You Can't Help Being a Grumpy Old Sourpuss, It's How Your Brain Is -- London Observer headline
You Want To Be Buried on the Moon? -- AP headline
Young Encouraged to Worship Bodies, Not Brains - Head -- PA headline
Youngsters Catapulted Back Into The Roman Era -- Newcastle Journal
Youth Found In Call Box With Fork -- South Devon Herald Express
Your Chance to Spend More Time in Public Toilets -- Reuters headline
Yo-Yo Thefts Rising in Singapore
Zookeepers Suspended for Eating Animals -- Reuters headline
Zoo Rescues Tom Thumb -- Metro (London)